There is one strange, unifying feature nearly all men Ive talked to who have suffered at the hands of a Female Histrionic Narcissist – a Harley Quinn – possess. Its not the depth of the suffering nor the comradeship of a shared horror. No, Its way stranger. It’s that give the choice to erase the experience – none of us would.
Pretty universally the experience nearly killed us, but? But the high is SO HIGH, the good is SO GOOD and getting down to basics the sex is SO AMAZING that they would not swap it for all the money in the world. To me, at least – it was ALMOST worth it!
Does this mean as a man you should NOT stay well clear of the Harley Quinn’s of this world? Or even go looking for this adventure – HELL NO!
I only get to talk to the survivors! To those with the immense natural reassures needed for recovery. Or great support networks around them to pull them up out of the pit of utter dereliction they have lived at the very bottom of.
Putting a little perspective on this – I was addicted to methamphetamine – crystal meth and recovering from crystal meth was a walk in the park compared to recovering from my Harley Quinn! There are certainly a huge number of very damaged men out there who we don’t hear from, who are yet to even begin recovery. Some who even committed suicide as a result – I certainly tried, with real determination I tried!
So what are the signs that the most perfect girly you have ever met is a Harley Quinn??
Well – the fact she is the most perfect girl you have every met is a dead giveaway! I don’t want to dampen any new and potentially wonderfull relationship for anyone – BUT humans come in 7 billion different unique forms. Finding a girl that is your exact perfect girl with exactly the same interests as you – down to the tiniest minutiae! Is about as likely as winning the lottery. Its the fact that the fit is just TOO perfect that should be a red flag.
Other things that set the Female Histrionic Narcissist – the Harley Quinn – apart from your regular narcissist are……..
2) Every argument is a nuclear event – everyone argues with their partner but the arguments vary in scale from tiny ones about cups and saucers in the wrong cupboard to huge ones about forgetting your anniversary. The Harley Quinn has only two modes – making your life perfect as possible or all out nuclear warfare! There is zero middle ground. This lack of a middle ground is your red flag.
3) If there is nothing to argue over – the Harley Quinn will create something. They have an ability to generate a catastrophe out of something that 5 minutes ago was absolutely fine ad causing no one any problems. AND I don’t mean argue over nothing! I mean DESTROYING something; be it physical or ethereal like a business deal or a friendship. They can not stand normality – if your trying to get on with the daily grind of life, THEY will ensure that grind ends either in a hugely positive way or hugely negative way.
4) As a result you increasingly get less and less important things done! This in its self;….. is a self perpetuating cycle. A cycle of chaos that you never seam to be able to get on top of. If you find yourself inundated where you used to be totally on top of things – even if its because your having too much of a good time; take that as a red flag! Normal people recognize work needs to be done, bills need paying and their partner needs time to do these things. To Harley Quinn that is time that could be spent obtaining supply for her addiction.
5) Any potential Harley Quinn is almost certainly going to be very good looking and very flirtatious – often in a very affable, charming and not necessarily obvious way. Its natural for men to be attracted to this type of girl – you’d be an idiot to think you can walk around with this girls on your arm and other men not drool after her but what sets the Harley Quinn apart is other men seem to not so much “fancy” your girl, as almost instantly fall into a kind of semi-love with her. They don’t regard her so much as a “hot chick” but rather more like a sexy sister they are very protective of. Often feeling the need to be protective of a girl they met only 10 minutes ago.
6) And in my experience its not just men. They evoke exactly the same reaction and feelings in other girls. In fact they may “show off” their skills to you – showing you how amazing THEY are at picking up girls. This will likely be done in a belittling context – even if it seems joking at the time, whispering in your ear “And YOU thought you were good at picking up girls hun, titter titter” as she liquidises some hot girl in a bar with nothing more than a look and a single word.
7) Helping you walk the walk. Dating Harley Quinn is equal part beyond your wildest fantasy of happiness and equal part a dive into the Marianos Trench of despair and despondency. But they want you around for the journey so the two have to be in balance. If they open up with a full broadside from those 18” er’s they borrowed of the USS New Jersey, you’ll notice and scarper tout suite! No they have to create an addiction to the GOOD, the AMAZING, the literally UNBELIEVABLE and there is a limit to that in daily life. They have a need to take you beyond daily life and to do this they need assistance from drugs, alcohol and sexual excess. Your a grown man, you have your own limits as to what is and what is not acceptable and its certainly not my place to tell you those – BUT if you find those limits, your OWN limits, mysteriously creeping and creeping, inch by inch thats a red flag. If you find yourself occasionally mildly shocked at what you do now and think “Jees – I wouldn’t have done this 6 months ago??” THAT is a big red flag!
8) Sex! Sex with the Female Histrionic Narcissist is going to be the best you have ever had, they will literally research techniques on the internet in order to improve their performance. And they will serupticioulsy “mine” you for information about your inner desires – often uncovering ones YOU never even knew you had! But of the two Harley Quinn’s I’ve Dated, they share some very specific traits. Firstly sex would hardly ever to NEVER be entertained without changing into incredibly sexy lingerie – and this could take a LONG time. The wait was ALWAYS worth it as the results were absolute personification of your sexual ideal of a woman! But any urgency, need, horny desperation that they felt was always secondary to the need to LOOK perfect – just for you! Always – its “Just For You!”
9) “Its just for you Hun!”, yet they manage to get an awful lot of satisfaction from admiring THEMSELVES in the mirror – you’ll likely not really notice as YOU are admiring them, your attention is on them and not on the fact they are looking in the mirror and posing for themselves. My last Harley Quinn freely admitted that she could get off on looking at herself in the mirror – she found herself THAT sexually attractive. But this admission only came very far down the line; so don’t be expecting to be hit over the head with red flags like that. But if you find the number of mirrors in the house increasing; especially in the bedroom – red flag! Try removing them and see how quickly they re-appear OR how nuclear the argument is over there disappearance.
10) Sex, whilst utterly amazing, seems to be as much a spectator sport as an activity to be enjoyed in a tactile or loving manner. Harley Quinn likes her performance to be VIEWED – seemingly more so than felt or experienced in any other way. She wants you to WATCH what she is doing – its like a reality TV show to her or an interactive porn movie your involved in somehow. If you stop watching she may well STOP what she is doing – even ask yo “whats wrong? Are you not enjoying it?” As if she thinks you cant enjoy something your not actively WATCHING. If you get the over all feeling that the “performance” is as, or more, important than the intimacy or the love – red flag!
11) Emotional Mechanics – you know how emotions work. They are a reaction to events and you have little control over them – sure you mask them to a degree for social reasons, but if something upsets you – IT UPSETS YOU. It does not go away because the telephone rang – people hear it in your voice even if your trying to mask it. But Harley Quinn has no idea the basic mechanics of how emotions work. She knows WHAT they LOOK LIKE. But she has to fake them and she makes mistakes – for example she will be in floods of tears over some imagined crime of yours like wanting to eat because your hungry – but a friend will telephone and she’ll INSTANTLY be bright as a button as if NOTHING had happened. Now, some people can do that – they are good at presenting a public face but its when the telephone call ends that the red flag gets waived. She bursts back into tears as if the call never occurred. Its the basic mechanics of how emotions WORK that they get wrong.
One time we had received some terrible news and Id written it down so as to be accurate – my head was pretty mashed by this point – I saw her read it on the CCTV monitor we had in the hall, there was no emotion at all. I walked in and asked what she thought, she replied “Its incredibly sad, Im so upset by it”, I pointed out she didn’t LOOK sad and she replied “I was saving my emotions for later so we could share them together!”
“Hunny – people don’t save emotions to share later?” – she replied with this classic line
“Dont be silly – whats the point of having emotions if no one is there to see them!”
Dont expect red flags of that scale to be thrust in your face, again that was way down the line – in the early days they are much much more on top of everything they do. But if you get an icky feeling about the way they deal with emotions generally – red flag!
12) Recovery time from horrific arguments – we all have horrific arguments – occasionally – and at first the Female Histrionic Narcissist seems super forgiving and never holds a grudge. But it gets, well, a bit creepy. They don’t so much seem to forgive quickly and easily – they seem to forget the argument ever happened. 15 minutes after a 5 hour screaming match, that has left you devastated and deeply upset, they will brightly say “shall we go for dinner?” Or “Shall we go see a movie?”.
Its nice to have someone who lets the subject drop, lets things pass by and does not dwell on them, but thats NOT what she does. She gets every last milligram of argument out of the argument and then immediately moves on – the way you might empty out a beer bottle and then get a new one out of the fridge without a moments hesitation. Because to her – that is pretty much exactly what she has done. She has emptied that bottle of its argument and it now has no value – it gets tossed in the recycling and she grabs a full bottle – the next high your going to experience together!
13) FINALLY – If your Dating Harley Quinn – – – – well she is highly likely to really identify with one very specific fictional character, BIG style! HARLEY QUINN…………. When Suicide Squad came out pretty much everyone my personal Harley knew telephoned and texted “YOU have Got to watch Suicide Squad – your JUST like Harley Quinn LOLOLOL”. We watched it and my Harley REVELED in the portrayal as she saw herself on the big screen – she saw the sexiness and the excitement of the character that she possessed herself. But the craziness you and I see, that scares the shit out of us! – that was just playful fun, it rang no alarm bells with her. To her it was – well normal. That is how she secretly lived her every day………
When Harley Quinn smashes the window, TAKES the bag she likes and says “WHAT? Its what we DO – were BAD people!” My Harley is thinking “thats exactly what I do – when I want some fun, I smash part of his business and I TAKE that fun!”